I still miss him :(
I don't even know why either. I always have something that is in my life going miserably wrong and no one wants to live like that let alone live it with me. Everyday i think about how amazing my life was and realize that i can make the best of my life now but things are never gonna be the same. Y cant i just be happy for one day without thinking bout who I'm missing and why I'm missing them.
Everything in my life has to be complicated and nothing ever works out.
I wonder when God will finally do something in my favor cause right now it looks like that's never gonna happen.

I cant figure out y i feel so bad. i dont know what kind of relationship we have or what i ever did wrong. the worst part is that i cant forget about it.

Im really happy that summer is almost here and soon I will be able to surf again. The winter weather has been nice, but it is going to be great to finally get back out in the water doing what I love. This year I hope I can ride the board parallel to the shore longer than I could last year because those rides are the best. It would also be really amazing if I could work on the strength in my arms so that I can pattle faster and catch better waves. It was a disappiontment that I couldn't surf last weekend, but there is always this weekend. I also want to get better at playing the guitar this summer because I want to play in next years night of the arts. Some songs are easy but I have trouble changing chords in a timely manner. I dont know how to tune my guitar either; consequently, the chords sound really messed up. I guess i'll have to run by the Music Loft so they can teach me how. I think its the least they could do after we paid to get lessons that didn't really work out. I love playing though, so I guess i'll just keep trying until I find a song that i'm really good at playing. I'm also looking into getting a new guitar because the one I have doesn't have a long neck which is making the chords sound wrong when I play with a capo. It's $500 dollars, but if I really want it the money will get saved in the bank. Hopefully I will get the money for it soon because I desperately need a new guitar.

--Danielle

Today we went to the beach and there were no waves at all. This weekend was so horrible and I am still mad about the whole week. Life was so wonderful a week and a half ago and now its a wreck I don't want to live in. Maybe everyone is right maybe the C.B. people have taught me something that I really don't want to believe. If that's the only thing that makes me such a bad person I'm sorry but I actually have a brain and I'm not stupid enough to let myself act in a way I will regret later. I shouldn't care after all that has happened anyways but I still do and really I'm just tired of everyone hating me. I'm alone in the world and with every day I notice it more and more. Don't ask me why I even bother living because I cant even tell you.

i dont know whats wrong he wont tell me. I hate knowing he doesnt come to me when somethings on his mind he always goes to his "friend". I feel like ive done something wrong but i dont think i have. I wish he'd just talk to me because im tired of not knowing. It feels like things are getting worse not better and im afraid things will go completly wrong just like before and i dont want that to happen because i love him. --Danielle

Today couldn't have possible been any better without become unordinary. I'm happy I got an A in civics and that I can finally feel like things are going to go back to the way they were. I think the distance was good but now I'm glad were close again. I can talk to him about anything even when I know he doesn't care because he is always willing to listen. I don't care what anyone thinks because it only matters how I feel. He's the one that I look forward to texting everyday knowing that he'll always know how to make my day. He's the only one who can say I'm special because no one else knows me well enough to know its true. <3 --Danielle

What?

Its hard not to wonder how things turned out the way that they have. It seems like the whole world is against me and I can never just have one moment to enjoy my life. I wish I could say that today was the best day of my life, but-- I cant. I still haven't been able to find out why people want me to change who I am and who I'm with. Why is it any of their business anyways? What I hate most is that I believe every word that comes out of someone elses mouth even if it isn't true. I really hope he's telling the truth because I really do love him and I don't want to believe that he doesn't love me back. --Danielle