HERE!

     I hate the feeling of standing still while the world is still moving. It's like being all alone with no one as your friend and everyone working against you. A lot of times I feel like i'm living in that world. I can jog slightly ahead of everyone else, but then I fall back to emptiness sometimes even farther back than where a started. Every night when I go to bed I stare up at the ceiling for hours trying to figure out what I have done so miserable wrong that has led me to deserve the cold shoulder everyone gives me. Even my "Friends" get mad at me for caring too much, complaining about my grades too much. Then as soon as I walk in the door, you dont do enough, you should care more. I think people should be more accepting and also learn that they are not superior to everyone else just because they think highly of themselves. It would also be greatly appreciated if people would do what they say they are going to do. If everyone would stop focusing on themselves maybe they could actually learn something. No one can always be right and in the real world thinking your always right can get you screwed over time and time again. I'm tired of trying to do the right thing. Maybe when everyone steps away from their mirrors I will reconsider but right now I really don't care.
     I have too many thoughts right now and no one to talk to. The world is so populated but at the same time so lonely. It seems like everything is so messed up right now I have no friends at school and I think that nobody really quite understands who I am and how I am feeling. Although I know people get us threw life I still believe that they hurt you just as much as they help you. They can support you make memories with you but they can also keep you from concentrating on your dreams and future. I realize that this is my problem I am always living in the future not the present. I am always worried about getting where I want to go not stoping to smell the roses and check out the scenery. When I step back and look at my life all I see is success but everyone else sees a life of no joy. Its my life and I love my determination but sometimes I wish I could be on the other side experincing the same things everyone else does. When people meet me its like opening a gift; they like whats inside at first but then a week later they realize that it isn't as great as what they thought. After they rewrap the gift they send it off to someone else who follows the same process.