Hey You.. Yes You

Dear Brandon,
If ur reading this u should be thinking about figuring out a day that we can go to Myrtle Grove. I want to go to the school really really really bad. Haha ok well hopefully i got my point across so bye.

this is my life

im sorta mad at the moment but for many diffrent reasons. i just cant believe people but i dont know what to say bout some of the stuff that goes on. I have gotten over friend searching and have decided it is not worth my energy to try and find someone who actually wants to be my friend. But it doesnt stop at frustration one. Yesterday a became a step aunt and my sister didnt even tell me she was posting stop to facebook and didnt bother telling us personally. I cant believe she really did that after we showed so much love towards her and sophia. i hate how selfish people can become and it seems like more and more people are turning into such. its so annoying because im just looking fo r nice world to live in and nobody wants to gice me that.i hate this unperfect world and i hate how nobody thinks about who they are hurting before they say or do something. jordon is in a relationship with another girl now too but im happy for him. at least now i wont have to worry about the back and forht that i put up with. its kinda sad though because it feels like he lied to me many times and i just wish he could have been honest with me about everything. not searching for friends anymore just trying to live life to its fullest alone after all i am my own person.

I still miss him :(
I don't even know why either. I always have something that is in my life going miserably wrong and no one wants to live like that let alone live it with me. Everyday i think about how amazing my life was and realize that i can make the best of my life now but things are never gonna be the same. Y cant i just be happy for one day without thinking bout who I'm missing and why I'm missing them.
Everything in my life has to be complicated and nothing ever works out.
I wonder when God will finally do something in my favor cause right now it looks like that's never gonna happen.

I cant figure out y i feel so bad. i dont know what kind of relationship we have or what i ever did wrong. the worst part is that i cant forget about it.

Im really happy that summer is almost here and soon I will be able to surf again. The winter weather has been nice, but it is going to be great to finally get back out in the water doing what I love. This year I hope I can ride the board parallel to the shore longer than I could last year because those rides are the best. It would also be really amazing if I could work on the strength in my arms so that I can pattle faster and catch better waves. It was a disappiontment that I couldn't surf last weekend, but there is always this weekend. I also want to get better at playing the guitar this summer because I want to play in next years night of the arts. Some songs are easy but I have trouble changing chords in a timely manner. I dont know how to tune my guitar either; consequently, the chords sound really messed up. I guess i'll have to run by the Music Loft so they can teach me how. I think its the least they could do after we paid to get lessons that didn't really work out. I love playing though, so I guess i'll just keep trying until I find a song that i'm really good at playing. I'm also looking into getting a new guitar because the one I have doesn't have a long neck which is making the chords sound wrong when I play with a capo. It's $500 dollars, but if I really want it the money will get saved in the bank. Hopefully I will get the money for it soon because I desperately need a new guitar.

--Danielle

Today we went to the beach and there were no waves at all. This weekend was so horrible and I am still mad about the whole week. Life was so wonderful a week and a half ago and now its a wreck I don't want to live in. Maybe everyone is right maybe the C.B. people have taught me something that I really don't want to believe. If that's the only thing that makes me such a bad person I'm sorry but I actually have a brain and I'm not stupid enough to let myself act in a way I will regret later. I shouldn't care after all that has happened anyways but I still do and really I'm just tired of everyone hating me. I'm alone in the world and with every day I notice it more and more. Don't ask me why I even bother living because I cant even tell you.

i dont know whats wrong he wont tell me. I hate knowing he doesnt come to me when somethings on his mind he always goes to his "friend". I feel like ive done something wrong but i dont think i have. I wish he'd just talk to me because im tired of not knowing. It feels like things are getting worse not better and im afraid things will go completly wrong just like before and i dont want that to happen because i love him. --Danielle