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HERE!

     I hate the feeling of standing still while the world is still moving. It's like being all alone with no one as your friend and everyone working against you. A lot of times I feel like i'm living in that world. I can jog slightly ahead of everyone else, but then I fall back to emptiness sometimes even farther back than where a started. Every night when I go to bed I stare up at the ceiling for hours trying to figure out what I have done so miserable wrong that has led me to deserve the cold shoulder everyone gives me. Even my "Friends" get mad at me for caring too much, complaining about my grades too much. Then as soon as I walk in the door, you dont do enough, you should care more. I think people should be more accepting and also learn that they are not superior to everyone else just because they think highly of themselves. It would also be greatly appreciated if people would do what they say they are going to do. If everyone would stop focusing on themselves maybe they could actually learn something. No one can always be right and in the real world thinking your always right can get you screwed over time and time again. I'm tired of trying to do the right thing. Maybe when everyone steps away from their mirrors I will reconsider but right now I really don't care.
     I have too many thoughts right now and no one to talk to. The world is so populated but at the same time so lonely. It seems like everything is so messed up right now I have no friends at school and I think that nobody really quite understands who I am and how I am feeling. Although I know people get us threw life I still believe that they hurt you just as much as they help you. They can support you make memories with you but they can also keep you from concentrating on your dreams and future. I realize that this is my problem I am always living in the future not the present. I am always worried about getting where I want to go not stoping to smell the roses and check out the scenery. When I step back and look at my life all I see is success but everyone else sees a life of no joy. Its my life and I love my determination but sometimes I wish I could be on the other side experincing the same things everyone else does. When people meet me its like opening a gift; they like whats inside at first but then a week later they realize that it isn't as great as what they thought. After they rewrap the gift they send it off to someone else who follows the same process.

Hey You.. Yes You

Dear Brandon,
If ur reading this u should be thinking about figuring out a day that we can go to Myrtle Grove. I want to go to the school really really really bad. Haha ok well hopefully i got my point across so bye.

this is my life

im sorta mad at the moment but for many diffrent reasons. i just cant believe people but i dont know what to say bout some of the stuff that goes on. I have gotten over friend searching and have decided it is not worth my energy to try and find someone who actually wants to be my friend. But it doesnt stop at frustration one. Yesterday a became a step aunt and my sister didnt even tell me she was posting stop to facebook and didnt bother telling us personally. I cant believe she really did that after we showed so much love towards her and sophia. i hate how selfish people can become and it seems like more and more people are turning into such. its so annoying because im just looking fo r nice world to live in and nobody wants to gice me that.i hate this unperfect world and i hate how nobody thinks about who they are hurting before they say or do something. jordon is in a relationship with another girl now too but im happy for him. at least now i wont have to worry about the back and forht that i put up with. its kinda sad though because it feels like he lied to me many times and i just wish he could have been honest with me about everything. not searching for friends anymore just trying to live life to its fullest alone after all i am my own person.

I still miss him :(
I don't even know why either. I always have something that is in my life going miserably wrong and no one wants to live like that let alone live it with me. Everyday i think about how amazing my life was and realize that i can make the best of my life now but things are never gonna be the same. Y cant i just be happy for one day without thinking bout who I'm missing and why I'm missing them.
Everything in my life has to be complicated and nothing ever works out.
I wonder when God will finally do something in my favor cause right now it looks like that's never gonna happen.

I cant figure out y i feel so bad. i dont know what kind of relationship we have or what i ever did wrong. the worst part is that i cant forget about it.

Im really happy that summer is almost here and soon I will be able to surf again. The winter weather has been nice, but it is going to be great to finally get back out in the water doing what I love. This year I hope I can ride the board parallel to the shore longer than I could last year because those rides are the best. It would also be really amazing if I could work on the strength in my arms so that I can pattle faster and catch better waves. It was a disappiontment that I couldn't surf last weekend, but there is always this weekend. I also want to get better at playing the guitar this summer because I want to play in next years night of the arts. Some songs are easy but I have trouble changing chords in a timely manner. I dont know how to tune my guitar either; consequently, the chords sound really messed up. I guess i'll have to run by the Music Loft so they can teach me how. I think its the least they could do after we paid to get lessons that didn't really work out. I love playing though, so I guess i'll just keep trying until I find a song that i'm really good at playing. I'm also looking into getting a new guitar because the one I have doesn't have a long neck which is making the chords sound wrong when I play with a capo. It's $500 dollars, but if I really want it the money will get saved in the bank. Hopefully I will get the money for it soon because I desperately need a new guitar.

--Danielle